So, I thought I would share with you all a new parenting site that I have stumbled across and really like: ParentsCentral.net. I also belong to a twins only community, but this site is for parents with any number of kids. It's really cool. There are sections for those TTC, Expecting, the First ear, and then age groups going forward (1-4 years, etc).
It's a nice casual place to get information, ask questions (how do you get those kids to sleep through the night?), and just chat with people. Oh, and there are lots of places on the site to discuss things BESIDES kids. We can debate hot topics, chit chat about tv, talk about religion (or my lack there of) and just take a break from the hecticness of life.
So if you are looking for a fun and excepting online community, come over and sign up. The ladies (and few gents) are cool and you'll get lots of good advice. And for you twin mommies, there are actually quite a few people with twins on the site as well, so it's not like it's kids with singletons only. Because we know how different raising twins versus singles can be!
One of the owners/admins of the site is a friend of mine. We actually met on another site, and took our friendship to emailing, and then I found her site. So as a thank you for introducing me to a great community, I figured I would pay it forward, and tell all my readers about it.
Please go over and check it out. Only takes a second to register!
Caba
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
It's a whole different Vacation nowadays ...
Wow. Vacations sure have changed. Every single year DH and I go with his family up to Lake George. DH has been going every year of his life, and his Dad has been going ever since he was a little kid. So it's a family tradition.
We missed going last year, the twins were only 3 months old, they weren't quite sleeping through the night, and I just couldn't fathom taking twins on vacation when I was still in the "I'm going to die" stage of parenting.
So this year was our first vacation with the kids. Well, it sure is something different. Lake George to me always meant days of total laziness. Waking whenever, swimming in the lake, lounging on a float for hours tanning, eating lunch, taking an afternoon nap, swimming some more, showering, yummy dinner, and either going out at night or relaxing at the cabin. Regardless, it was always a super lazy vacation.
Not any more ... hehe. Wow, kids are tough. We were still up at 630am or 7am every day. And then you aren't in your own house, so it's not baby-proof, and we spent a lot of time trying to get them to not touch stuff, to not stand on the fireplace hearth, to now yell, etc. It's tough. We were very strict about keeping them on schedule though. they still went down after lunch for their nap, and were taking GREAT ones, like 2-3 hours. I'm guessing the song just really knocked them out! They still went to bed at 7pm every night. So during their naps and after they went to bed we did get some down time. But they were just really long days. I don't know how you stay at home moms do it!
Hmmm, what else? Well, the Moop was sick for 24 hours on vacation. Diarrhea, and he threw up once. Lovely. Then the Boots got it the next day. Then our nephew Brandon got it. Then DH, then me. That was not fun. But we all bounced back pretty quickly, and it didn't put TOO much of a crimp into the fun.
Ok, so you want pics? I got pics!
Here are the twins playing in the lake!
Here they are getting swung around! The Boot by her Daddy, and Mr Moop by his Grammy!
Here the kids all cleaned up after a day at the beach. Love these outfits from fabulous Aunt Chrissy!
Here's a family pic taken on the deck of the house (which was BEAUTIFUL!)
Actually, click here to see the house. It really was so nice. One weird thing with the house, well, weird cool thing, all the trees had faces on them. I liked it. I thought it gave the yard "character".
And here is a cute picture taken once we came home. I don't know what Boots' deal is. She is the smilest kid ever, but when the camera comes up, she really goes all stone face on us!
I'll try to be better about updating. Things have been a bit crazy, and life is just too much to take sometimes. But pics of the twins will be a-coming!
Caba
We missed going last year, the twins were only 3 months old, they weren't quite sleeping through the night, and I just couldn't fathom taking twins on vacation when I was still in the "I'm going to die" stage of parenting.
So this year was our first vacation with the kids. Well, it sure is something different. Lake George to me always meant days of total laziness. Waking whenever, swimming in the lake, lounging on a float for hours tanning, eating lunch, taking an afternoon nap, swimming some more, showering, yummy dinner, and either going out at night or relaxing at the cabin. Regardless, it was always a super lazy vacation.
Not any more ... hehe. Wow, kids are tough. We were still up at 630am or 7am every day. And then you aren't in your own house, so it's not baby-proof, and we spent a lot of time trying to get them to not touch stuff, to not stand on the fireplace hearth, to now yell, etc. It's tough. We were very strict about keeping them on schedule though. they still went down after lunch for their nap, and were taking GREAT ones, like 2-3 hours. I'm guessing the song just really knocked them out! They still went to bed at 7pm every night. So during their naps and after they went to bed we did get some down time. But they were just really long days. I don't know how you stay at home moms do it!
Hmmm, what else? Well, the Moop was sick for 24 hours on vacation. Diarrhea, and he threw up once. Lovely. Then the Boots got it the next day. Then our nephew Brandon got it. Then DH, then me. That was not fun. But we all bounced back pretty quickly, and it didn't put TOO much of a crimp into the fun.
Ok, so you want pics? I got pics!
Here are the twins playing in the lake!
Here they are getting swung around! The Boot by her Daddy, and Mr Moop by his Grammy!
 |  |
Here the kids all cleaned up after a day at the beach. Love these outfits from fabulous Aunt Chrissy!
 |  |
Here's a family pic taken on the deck of the house (which was BEAUTIFUL!)
Actually, click here to see the house. It really was so nice. One weird thing with the house, well, weird cool thing, all the trees had faces on them. I liked it. I thought it gave the yard "character".
And here is a cute picture taken once we came home. I don't know what Boots' deal is. She is the smilest kid ever, but when the camera comes up, she really goes all stone face on us!
I'll try to be better about updating. Things have been a bit crazy, and life is just too much to take sometimes. But pics of the twins will be a-coming!
Caba
Monday, July 14, 2008
Vacation
I'm still here. Kind of. We are on vacation at Lake George. Pics and stories to follow. I promise.
Here are some pictures from 4th of July to tide you over! We went down to see my sister at her shore house. Much fun was had by all.
Hope everyone is doing well,
Caba
Here are some pictures from 4th of July to tide you over! We went down to see my sister at her shore house. Much fun was had by all.
Hope everyone is doing well,
Caba
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Book Tour: The Empty Picture Frame
Ok, we are back with another episode of the Barren Bitches Book Tour. This month, we read The Empty Picture Frame by Jenna Currier Nadeau. This is another book about infertility. The book chronicled Jenna and her husband Mikes journey through the fun world of infertility.
So, Jenna is one of our fellow bloggers. I would link to her blog, but it's private. Anyway, I started following her journey probably about a year ago, and I am really excited to be talking about this book. I started following her blog at the tail end of her journey, so it was really interesting to go back and read how she got to where she currently is. Anyway, on to the questions ...
1. Depending on where you are on your IF journey, how did this book affect you? For example, if you have a child/ren after IF was it easier or harder to read? If you are in the middle of your IF struggle did the book help or hinder? Give me your thoughts on how you were affected reading the book no matter where your IF journey has taken you so far.
For me, this book was easy to read. When you aren't in the throws of your IF journey, or you have found your "happy ending" so to speak, I think its much easier to read about someone else. I think this book is just so honest. Anyone who has gone through any IF treatments have been told by some well meaning person about all the "friends of a friend" that got pregnant on their first dose of Chlomid, IUI, IVF or (insert IF treatment here). I think it's important for people to know that there isn't always a nice and easy happy IF ending. Some people don't end up pregnant. For some people, it doesn't work. I can see how this would be much harder for someone in the middle of their treatment to read, but I think it also helps to hear Jenna, this woman who just KNOWS she is meant to be a mom. And it doesn't matter how she gets there, she will. If there is one thing IF does to you, it forces you to really look inside yourself to find out how important being a mom is to you.
2. On p. 141, Jenna describes hiding out in the bathroom during her nephew's third birthday party but then realizes, "I couldn't even come close to having fun. I hate myself for that... I don't want to turn every moment into a moment about me and my sadness. It is never my intention, but it is always my impact." She describes how she doesn't like the person looking back at her in the mirror. Have you had a similar "mirror moment"? If so, describe it. Did this realization result in a lasting change in your outlook or relationships with others? How much of the responsibility for "impact" lies on the infertile person's shoulders?
I think I was lucky in that I didn't spend too much time in the pre-child infertile world. We were diagnosed and then really quickly went straight to IVF. We got our test results in Dec, I have a laproscopic surgery in May to close one of my tubes, and we did our first IVF in August, which results in the twins. Prior to seeing the RE, we probably spent about 8 months trying to get pregnant. But even in that super short time, the bitterness had set in. I still cringed at pregnancy announcements. I still cried when a month when by and the pregnancy test was negative. But I didn't get to a point as dark as Jenna did. And I don't blame her at all, I just blame time. Had I had multiple failed cycles, and multiple heart breaks, I would have been her. Actually, I would have been much worse. I wouldn't have attended places where kids would have been. I probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to anyone about their kids. And that is fully the fault of the infertile. Is it fair to ask other people to stop living their lives, to stop reproducing easily, to think before they ever speak to me? Of course not. But, oh of course there is a but, please go easy on my heart. Something like having a child, that comes SO easily to most women, it just doesn't come easy to everyone. And for those of us that are in the "other" group, it just sucks. So, although it's fully us that should learn to deal with everyone still going on with their lives, it would be nice for just a smidgen of understanding by all the happily fertile people that will never know the heartbreak of infertility.
3. On page 147, the author talks about being more aware of the pain of others. How do you feel your infertility has affected your relationship with others?
I like to think that my heart has gotten a little bigger. That I now realize that something that might come easily for me may not come easy for anyone else. I am SO cautious of my words when talking to other people who do not have children, as I'm so afraid that they are dealing with some sort of IF issue. And I'm becoming more much vocal and honest about our struggle. Because, ya know, it's really nothing to be ashamed of. So many people deal with it. And the more you get it out there, the more people talk about it, the more people won't feel so damn isolated while going through it.
As a side note, since I follow along on Jenna's blog, I love knowing that she did get her happy ending. She has adopted a BEAUTIFUL baby girl named Anna, and I think she has pretty much made all Jenna's dreams come true. It's been quite an honor to have followed along on her journey.
Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/). You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
So, Jenna is one of our fellow bloggers. I would link to her blog, but it's private. Anyway, I started following her journey probably about a year ago, and I am really excited to be talking about this book. I started following her blog at the tail end of her journey, so it was really interesting to go back and read how she got to where she currently is. Anyway, on to the questions ...
1. Depending on where you are on your IF journey, how did this book affect you? For example, if you have a child/ren after IF was it easier or harder to read? If you are in the middle of your IF struggle did the book help or hinder? Give me your thoughts on how you were affected reading the book no matter where your IF journey has taken you so far.
For me, this book was easy to read. When you aren't in the throws of your IF journey, or you have found your "happy ending" so to speak, I think its much easier to read about someone else. I think this book is just so honest. Anyone who has gone through any IF treatments have been told by some well meaning person about all the "friends of a friend" that got pregnant on their first dose of Chlomid, IUI, IVF or (insert IF treatment here). I think it's important for people to know that there isn't always a nice and easy happy IF ending. Some people don't end up pregnant. For some people, it doesn't work. I can see how this would be much harder for someone in the middle of their treatment to read, but I think it also helps to hear Jenna, this woman who just KNOWS she is meant to be a mom. And it doesn't matter how she gets there, she will. If there is one thing IF does to you, it forces you to really look inside yourself to find out how important being a mom is to you.
2. On p. 141, Jenna describes hiding out in the bathroom during her nephew's third birthday party but then realizes, "I couldn't even come close to having fun. I hate myself for that... I don't want to turn every moment into a moment about me and my sadness. It is never my intention, but it is always my impact." She describes how she doesn't like the person looking back at her in the mirror. Have you had a similar "mirror moment"? If so, describe it. Did this realization result in a lasting change in your outlook or relationships with others? How much of the responsibility for "impact" lies on the infertile person's shoulders?
I think I was lucky in that I didn't spend too much time in the pre-child infertile world. We were diagnosed and then really quickly went straight to IVF. We got our test results in Dec, I have a laproscopic surgery in May to close one of my tubes, and we did our first IVF in August, which results in the twins. Prior to seeing the RE, we probably spent about 8 months trying to get pregnant. But even in that super short time, the bitterness had set in. I still cringed at pregnancy announcements. I still cried when a month when by and the pregnancy test was negative. But I didn't get to a point as dark as Jenna did. And I don't blame her at all, I just blame time. Had I had multiple failed cycles, and multiple heart breaks, I would have been her. Actually, I would have been much worse. I wouldn't have attended places where kids would have been. I probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to anyone about their kids. And that is fully the fault of the infertile. Is it fair to ask other people to stop living their lives, to stop reproducing easily, to think before they ever speak to me? Of course not. But, oh of course there is a but, please go easy on my heart. Something like having a child, that comes SO easily to most women, it just doesn't come easy to everyone. And for those of us that are in the "other" group, it just sucks. So, although it's fully us that should learn to deal with everyone still going on with their lives, it would be nice for just a smidgen of understanding by all the happily fertile people that will never know the heartbreak of infertility.
3. On page 147, the author talks about being more aware of the pain of others. How do you feel your infertility has affected your relationship with others?
I like to think that my heart has gotten a little bigger. That I now realize that something that might come easily for me may not come easy for anyone else. I am SO cautious of my words when talking to other people who do not have children, as I'm so afraid that they are dealing with some sort of IF issue. And I'm becoming more much vocal and honest about our struggle. Because, ya know, it's really nothing to be ashamed of. So many people deal with it. And the more you get it out there, the more people talk about it, the more people won't feel so damn isolated while going through it.
As a side note, since I follow along on Jenna's blog, I love knowing that she did get her happy ending. She has adopted a BEAUTIFUL baby girl named Anna, and I think she has pretty much made all Jenna's dreams come true. It's been quite an honor to have followed along on her journey.
Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at Stirrup Queens (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/). You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
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